"Check-Up"
*****
Margaret: [to nurses] "You are women, desirable women... Most of you."
***
Frank: "McIntyre's
refused to take his clothes off for me!"
Hawkeye: "Well, not
everyone is Major Houlihan, Frank."
***
Frank: [about
Klinger] "There is no room in this
tent for perverts!"
Hawkeye: "Shall we
all leave alphabetically?"
***
Klinger: [about
the ulcer] "How did you do it? What did you think
about? How did you get it?"
Trapper: "I'm
fertile, that's all."
Hawkeye: "And he
just didn't take any precautions."
***
Hawkeye:
[tears glistening in his eyes]
"You made it bearable. I was lucky. You were honest and
open, and let me lean on you."
Trapper: "No
charge. And if I'm ever back this way-"
Hawkeye: "-I'll
keep a light burning for you in a bedpan..."
***
Nurse: "I
don't go out with married men, Colonel."
Henry: "Well,
neither do I."
***
Klinger: "Could
you do me a favor when you get stateside, sir? I need a black
evening bra."
Hawkeye: "No man
should be without one."
*****
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*****