"Crisis"

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Henry: "Now, Radar will be the housing officer. Now, before this is over, we may double up or triple up to save heat. Radar will decide who sleeps with who."
Trapper: "Radar, I'd like to see you right after the meeting..."

***

Hawkeye: [referring to Trapper] "I'm his helper. He doesn't like to heat alone."

***

P.A. Announcement: "All personnel must begin sleeping together tonight. Check bulletin board to determine the sex of your tent."

***

Frank: "You won't catch me sleeping with an enlisted man!"

***

Henry: [about his snoring] "Well, if it gets too bad, just do what my wife does."
Hawkeye: "What's that?"
Henry: "Hold me close."

***

Hawkeye: "Oh, Frank, you're all romance, you devil."

*****

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