"George"

*****

George: "Listen, Doc. I've watched you around the hospital.You care about people."
Hawkeye: "Some of my best friends are people."
George: "Well, you noticed my bruises, huh?"
Hawkeye
: "Very nice. Who's your exterior decorator?"
George
: "Well, Doc, two guys got beat up in my outfit: one colored and one homosexual."
Hawkeye: [after a short pause] "So you're a Negro? Who'd have guessed?"
George
: "We went out last week and got drunk on leave, and I talked more than I should have about something that happened a couple years ago."
Hawkeye: "And you wanna go back to that outfit?" [George nods.] "You're gonna get your Purple Heart all black and blue."
George: "It's important to me that I finish my tour of duty, now more than ever."
[Hawkeye is about to say something when he's interrupted by Father Mulcahy.]

***

Hawkeye: [about George] "His buddies did it to him."
Trapper: "Well, what are buddies for?"
Hawkeye: "They hung a homosexual label on him, and each one gave him a knuckle sandwich."
Trapper: [gloomily] "Nice."

***

Frank: "There's one of those in camp."
Trapper: "'One of those', Frank?"
Hawkeye: "Which one of those "thoses" do you mean, Frank?"
Frank: "One of those types that don't like girls." [elbows Hawkeye] "Get it?"
Hawkeye: "Ooh, one of those those."
Frank: "Private Weston. Patient came in this morning - knows some of the guys in his outfit." [shudders] "I think it's disgusting!"
Hawkeye: [shudders exaggeratedly] "What business is it of yours, Frank?"

***

Frank: "Margaret, trust me. Perversion is one of the things we're fighting against."
Margaret: "You mean... Private Weston- that nice boy?"
Frank: "Now that's what I understand from some very reliable gossip."
Hawkeye: "Frank had the duty roster changed because his pulse did the cha-cha every time he came near him."
Frank: "What's that supposed to mean?"
Trapper: "That means lay off before you do some real damage."

***

Frank: [about George] "He's not one of us. He's one of them."
Henry: [with thermometer in his mouth] "Who are them, Frank, that's not one of us?"
Frank: "He's not a man!"
Henry: "A woman? There's no woman in post-op. You know that."
Frank: "Sir, a non-heterosexual."
Henry:"Frank, why are you-" [pulls the thermometer out of his mouth]
"Frank, why are you telling me this? Has the man made a pass at you, at me, at anyone?"

***

[Hawkeye quietly takes the place of the nurse doing Henry's manicure and caresses Henry's hand.]
Henry
: [with a hot towel on his face] "Look, let's skip the manicure..."

*****

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