"George"
*****
George: "Listen,
Doc. I've watched you around the hospital.You care about
people."
Hawkeye: "Some of
my best friends are people."
George: "Well, you
noticed my bruises, huh?"
Hawkeye: "Very nice. Who's
your exterior decorator?"
George: "Well, Doc, two guys
got beat up in my outfit: one colored and one homosexual."
Hawkeye: [after a
short pause] "So you're a Negro? Who'd have
guessed?"
George: "We went out last week
and got drunk on leave, and I talked more than I should have
about something that happened a couple years ago."
Hawkeye: "And you
wanna go back to that outfit?" [George nods.]
"You're gonna get your Purple Heart all black and
blue."
George: "It's
important to me that I finish my tour of duty, now more than
ever."
[Hawkeye is about to say something when he's interrupted by
Father Mulcahy.]
***
Hawkeye: [about
George] "His buddies did it to him."
Trapper: "Well,
what are buddies for?"
Hawkeye: "They hung
a homosexual label on him, and each one gave him a knuckle
sandwich."
Trapper: [gloomily] "Nice."
***
Frank: "There's
one of those in camp."
Trapper: "'One of those',
Frank?"
Hawkeye: "Which one
of those "thoses" do you mean, Frank?"
Frank: "One of
those types that don't like girls." [elbows Hawkeye] "Get
it?"
Hawkeye: "Ooh, one
of those those."
Frank: "Private
Weston. Patient came in this morning - knows some of the guys in
his outfit." [shudders] "I think it's
disgusting!"
Hawkeye: [shudders
exaggeratedly] "What business is it of yours,
Frank?"
***
Frank: "Margaret,
trust me. Perversion is one of the things we're fighting
against."
Margaret: "You
mean... Private Weston- that nice boy?"
Frank: "Now that's
what I understand from some very reliable gossip."
Hawkeye: "Frank had
the duty roster changed because his pulse did the cha-cha every
time he came near him."
Frank: "What's that
supposed to mean?"
Trapper: "That
means lay off before you do some real damage."
***
Frank: [about
George] "He's not one of us. He's one of them."
Henry: [with
thermometer in his mouth] "Who are them,
Frank, that's not one of us?"
Frank: "He's not a
man!"
Henry: "A woman?
There's no woman in post-op. You know that."
Frank: "Sir, a
non-heterosexual."
Henry:"Frank, why
are you-" [pulls the thermometer out of his mouth]
"Frank, why are you telling me this? Has the man made a
pass at you, at me, at anyone?"
***
[Hawkeye quietly takes the place of the
nurse doing Henry's manicure and caresses Henry's hand.]
Henry: [with a hot towel on his
face] "Look, let's skip the manicure..."
*****
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